So I'm due to graduate in the near future.  Once I complete my thesis (by December of this year) I will officially have my Honours B Sc. in Psychology.  Go me or something.  Being a graduate means you get to try and find a job in a slumping economy where everyone wants experience and you, of course, don't have any.  Where 6 months after that, the student loan companies begin to scream for your blood, hell your piss if they think it's worth money.  It is also the time when graduation costs begin to loom.

Cost #1:  Graduation photos.  Ha!  $25 for a nonrefundable sitting fee.  Never mind the exorbitant costs of the actual photos, should you even like them.  I took one look, phoned my mom and said "You've got a picture of me in a stupid cap and gown.  You do not need another.  We can use the disposable types for photos.  Frig, even Walmart would be cheaper for pro shot photos."  Mom being stingy agreed.

Cost #2:  The graduation ceremony itself.  My school is so cheap I have to either rent or purchase my own cap and gown.  How pathetic is that??????   You can't lend me a frigging cap and gown?!  I'll leave a deposit to ensure I return.  That, I could undestand.  The things cost money.  But making me pay for my own graduation after about $42,000 worth of debt in student loans, and that excludes costs covered by my own income beyond that, is fucking sad, and a poor reflection on what deems itself to be one of the most presitigous univeristies in the world.  Then again, they've had about 5 human rights lawsuits thrown at them since I started here, so meh.  Goes to show what world class means around these parts. 

Cost #3:  My favourite part.  The so-called "Graditude" campaign.  Now, if the name *the misspelling is intentional* doesn't make you want to spew neon chunks into the porcelain god, then maybe its function will.  Basically, after years of milking us for incidental fees for crap we don't even use nor need, after years of hiking tuition when the profs simply are worse and worse at their job, the university has the balls to ask us for donations and money to fund future projects and buildings, which apparently the incidental fees of say 20,000 students minimum can't fund.  This year they are begging me for money to re-do a building on our campus which looks like a high school building trapped in 60's oranges and purples, where the bathrooms smell like sewers and the classrooms suffocate you with their lack of windows.  Hmm.  I have a better idea.  Convert the place to a fucking jail, sell it to the government for cash and use THAT to make a new building!  Ahhh but you see, they want my money for other reasons as well.  They also want my money to improve the library, build athletics buildings that only a small percentage of students will ever use and I'm sorry, but I thought I was paying five grand plus a year to learn and get a degree, not to learn touch football on my own time for no credit.  I'd rather pay the fucking YMCA who already have nice buildings and don't charge me tuition to use their far superior gym. 

What is most striking is the fact that they expect us to live on next to nothing, as evidenced in how they dole out student loans in this country -- then, while we live on Mac and Cheese, they expect us to somehow find $100+ extra lying around.  If I had the $100, $200, $1000 they're seeking do you know what would happen?  They would reduce my student loans to keep me in poverty!!   To allow me to have that much spare cash would be a sin you see.  So where are they expecting any graduate whose mommy is NOT a professor or employee (they get vastly reduced tuition you see) to find this money?  Up my ass?  If my ass crapped fifty dollar bills I would have seen a lot more Tori shows on the last tour, as I would have induced diarrhea.  Hell I would have treated all my friends and dropped my school year, and frightened everyone as a tour stalker.  Then again, unlike some rude bitches *coughNikkicough* I would not have felt a need to meet Tori each show.  Hell, I would have gone to meet and greets as security to ensure that getting there first and NOT being a tour stalker entitled you to being upfront.  But I digress.  I digress beyond digressing.

So yeah, I have some graditude alright.  My middle finger has a hell of a lot to say.  Why not ask the rich students or the ones who rip off student loans to buy cars to offer some money to support those of us from poorer families?  Why not have the graditude goal be creating grants for the next year from the donations?  Hey, even better:  why not prevent the Student Council from blowing $20,000 on a stupid rave that almost nobody attended yet was a success?  *another story proving that education at our university really works!*

The day when the school makes it possible for me to eat decent food without maxing $2800 on my VISA is the day I will even condescend to consider this pathetic one last stab at sucking my wallet dry.  Here's my Graditude U of T:  Fuck you.  Thank you for the misery of petitions, professors condoning date rape, professors breaking policy and stating they refuse to abide by anything the Dean will say, to professors who are around one hour a week and otherwise forget it.  They're busy sitting on their asses watching Bob Barker.   Thank you for years of crying and appealing for money to buy Kraft fucking dinner.  Pucker up and kiss it.