|THE DISNEY WHORES|
Boo may seem innocent but she is strangely obsessed with Kitties. The perfect lesbian toy wheee
|My girlfriend and I must
confess: we are Disney whores. Enormous Disney whores.
And we simply cannot conceal it anymore. I'm by far the worst
one. Or maybe she is. After all, she did actually like Tarzan
and insisted on renting Atlantis. That movie's only saving grace is
Michael J Fox. *L*
Disney has decided to torture us in recent months. First, they released the sinister accomplice in their scheme to fleece us of all their cash: Babbling Boo. See picture to left. This little cutie beckoned to us from the Disney store, whose mesmerizing display of colourful characters and the sinister pied piper-like call of the tv screens and toy mountain refused to leave us alone. She literally called, hiding her bemused grin beneath cooing words like "Kitty!" and "Mike Waszowski!". What clinched it was the damn song she sang: the words cannot be understood clearly, providing for hours of "what the hell did she say?" joy. Jen eyes me from beneath her lashes and pouts.
"I want it I want her! It's BOO"
I nod. I want her muchly. I'm a big big fan of Monsters Inc. You would not imagine the tears that almost emerged from my eyes as I, semi-drunk from my birthday party, turned to my best friend Sacha and said "I want more Boo!" I tell Jen to check the price. $42 bucks. Canadian. We can't even justify it on the basis of "well it's like only 10 bucks American". Jen just moved here from the States and was packing US cash with her. I tell her to put it back. She verges on tears. But she relents.
Our every visit to the mall is plagued by Boo, calling us, crying to us. We play with her each time then replace her upon the shelf. Then one day, it happens:
"SHE'S SOLD OUT!!" Jen wails. We mourn our lost opportunity, search ebay, anything we can think of. Fast forward to March 12, 2002.
"Jen Jen Jen we must must must go to Mickey D's I want toys I want hamburger happy meals damn it!"
Jen eyes me weird. "Say what?"
"They have Disney toys for ten days and they have 1.99 happy meals!!! We've been eating Ramen forever it's only two bucks pwease pwease I love you?!"
"Whatever," she shrugs. Thus begins the frenzy. Amplified of course by the fact we live next door to a Mickey D's. Today, is the 16th. We currently possess 15 of the little shits. We even somehow, despite there being supposedly 100+ of these toys, have two doubles. We have two Tarzans *blech* and two Jafars *at least he has a brain right*.Here's the list:
Jiminy Cricket, Mickey Mouse circa 1935, Pocahantas, Abu, Brer Fox, Donald Duck, Goofy, Belle, Hercules, Bashful, Flower, Jafar (2), Tarzan (2).
Guess what else we found yesterday?. Babbling Boo. A single frigging Babbling Boo on the shelf. Jen looks at me. I give in. "You're buying her with your birthday money. Enjoy." And so as we speak, I can hear this distinctive giggle, mocking me and Jen, as our willpower flies out the door, two bucks at a time. Tonight's dinner: guess. Heh.
I am such a Disney Whore. But I swear I'll stop when I get the Robin Hood toy. I swear!!!! And Mulan. Mushu. Lady and the Tramp....EPILOGUE. IT'S THE 17TH NOW. WE HAVE 18 TOYS. We just got Princess Aurora aka Sleeping Beauty, Thumper and LADY!!!! Now all I need is Tramp. And Robin Hood of course.... and Jen says she's gonna try and bribe the other McDonald's with a Robin Hood in the display case to sell it to us heh... You're fucking scaring me!!!